Hello! I've decided I miss you all and thus my new LJ is  naya_darling   Hope I see you all there!!!!!

Hi guys. Im so sorry to do this to you.... but this will be my last post. Things are far too busy over here, and I no longer have the time to comment or even reply to comments.
This is nothing personal against any of you, you've all been great and I love ya. Good luck with everything and I hope to talk to you all again when I've the time to handle my end of the deal.
BEST OF WISHES TO YOU ALL.

Alright, quick basic and to the point entry.

1. Not moving out today, moving out on Monday. Nevermind that its Valentine's day and that I definatly have plans.
2. Car no longer is an issue. Mom and dad are loaning me the money for to get the transmission REBUILT with a warentee(jay =P)...which is costing 3x more than my car... but since everything else in the car is brand new...no kafuffle.
3. Still hate my job, though its more tolerable.
4. Busy as all hell.
5. Am still not a morning person.
6. Sent Jay his Valentine's and sent one for this parents as well, it seemed to go over very nice indeed.
7. TRYING to get particular V-day gift for Jayness...not having much luck.
8. James is the best boyfriend in the universe. I realize some of you will disagree and try and place your boyfriends name in there instead, but you're wrong.
9. Said boyfriend is coming up for spring break yeehaw.
10. Watched "The Notebook" 2 times today.
11. Going to end this now so that I might take una shower.
So yes, thats my life right now. Yes I know comments are lacking, im not going to say anything accept im sorry and just deal with it... i've had a long fucking month and if there are problems its just a click away to banish me from your lives.
AND on a lighter note....Saturday is the 12th and thus marks the 3rd XD XD XD XD XD XD!!!!

Happy belated Birthday to <lj user-sayyouwontcare7>

Hrm ....yes....

Give love to jaysoad ... he's having a rough week... I love you dahlin'.

Well... the idea was that I was going to wake up super early this morning, but either Jayness decided not to call, or I slept through the phone.... either option is equally plausable.  So here is my conclusion that I came to at like ... 9:00am this morning...

    I'm moving out in a week, in 13 months Im moving to Massachu.. I work in a Deli... and i've lost all writing talents.

So what should I do????? I need to make some serious changes.. .I need to get some sort of direction. I only have 2 things for certain in the distant future, and while they are...amazing things...bloody amazing things, there has to be more for those bloody amazing things to work out. One I need a career, not a job. Well what do I want to do, and what is it going to take for me to get there????

I want to write, not journalizm, Newshawk taught me I never had talent in that regard to begin with... no I want to write books. Unfortunatly I'm no good, so that is not going to happen... I need a back-up plan...perhaps a business...the cafe? That would require a few classes in Restaurant management and business...no problem... but then i was really thinking and you know what would be damned cool?

AN INN... WITH a cafe...

But could I pull it off????? I dont know... it would take years and a lot of school... do i really want to do that??? *sigh* and if i did, where??? I dont know, what I do know is that I cannot stand working in a Deli anymore, or in a theater or ... I hate odds n'ends... and i have to...MUST make more money than 6.75 an hour.

So yes.

       I...Love....Jay ^_____^

 I was in a sort of blah mood not 10 minutes ago...and now... i cant wipe this stupid grin off my face...*sigh* this is what love does to you... turns everything blissfully upside down XD ...

  I didnt get to talk to him last night, he called around 10 but I didnt get home until like 10:20 >.< damn minutes. Oh well, I suppose its good for him to catch up on some sleep ^__^. Well the moving process is coming along nicely..would be nicely-er if i would get my arse off the computer and be productive. *contemplates that a moment* .... yes.

  On a more serious note, my grampa isnt doing so well... i got up this morning to my mum telling me to keep the phone near me in case she needed to call, and shes taking him to the docs. Apparently he had a super high fever, is mega dehydrated, wont drink and wont eat anything ... i wouldnt be surprised if they took him into the hospital... god ...I hope they can help him. He's been really depressed with the Chemo and... *sigh* I love my grampa soooo much ... I remember when I was little, im not sure how old but I know I was living there with them so it was some time ago... and I was allergic to this shampoo that I used and broke out in hives like..everywhere. He sat there, by my bed for 3 days... lol gramma kept saying i was only to eat healthy food so i could get better faster.. but every night around 11:30 grampa would smuggle me vanilla ice cream with a cherry on top, and we'd have ice cream together....gramma pretended not to know lol... then I had this horrid dream about their psychotic dog Ottie and I woke up crying to my grampa because "Ottie ate my eggs!!!" ..hehehehe.LOL and when I was little, they had these candies called "chuckles" ...little gummy things... and grampa used to keep packs of them around ,and every time he saw me he would pretend to pull packs out of my ear XD lol he did that at my open house with a 50 dollar bill ^___^ but when I was little I always called him "grampa chuckles" ... XD i bought him a pack of em the other day and his eyes got all misty ^____^ I loves meh grampa

But yes... I have the day off today.... tomorrow i work 5-10 which is..you know..pointless...then sunday 1:30-10 which im SO glad for being that I got an 80 dollar check today >.< fucking Bueche's >.< Anyhow, off to be productive.

 

  I STILL LOVE MEH JAMES!!!! XD

No but really, packing is a whore.

....im irritated. Nothing im not used to...somewhat crap nonetheless. im going to bed. fucking emo crap.

"Now you are here with me, no second thoughts, i've decided...decided."


Well I need to take a minute and say thanks to everyone who left me a supportive message.. you know who you are, and it meant a ton.
My father is just fine... my family enjoys terrifying me is all it seems. ...James...as always, was amazing.
I have very much of my room either packed or on my bed x.x

so....
Tomorrow: I work 4-10
Thurs: NO WORK, PAYDAY ayayayayayayay! and also possibly going to church with Lori so I can meet this James character.
Friday: NO WORK
Saturday.... work. 5-10... pointless....pointless shift... >.< waste of time arg.
Sunday: ... Superbowl...go Patriots..hope I spelled that right x.x I hope they win, as that would put a smile on my darlings face and 70 dollars in my pocket. But i'll not be watching the game as I will be working from 1:30-10:00 x.x
Monday: I dont know lol...no schedual as of yet for work
same...goes...all week... until thurs which is payday...and then friday is move out day...saturday is a day off...and then monday is Valentine's day which i will be spending on the phone..gotta go cancel that now ....oops...bai

dad got into an accident ... all i know is that its "bad." >.< so im reduced to waiting once more ;.; >.

...I told you I was going to do it. And just so that doesnt look completely out there... *trying to explain that conversation* o.o. Alright, well ..you know what, I sort of cant. I guess it involves me saying that I wanted sex, then a bit later that I wanted pineapple...though not simultaneously...Jay pointed out that it was a pretty obvious fact, and i mentioned that some people are into that and... *sigh* alright so it was compeltely out there >.<
Moving right along. I have work today. 1:30-10:00.... ugh. then im getting up at 6:30 tomorrow...and...*sigh* im lonely lol i just realized im sad again. going to go bai.

I find myself in a state of vague irritation, with no logical reason so to feel.

Good: 1. I have the day off 2. I got an apartment 3. My friends are amazing and supportive 4. Jay is amazing, in every sense of the word. Bad: 1. I'm responible for the death of my dog 2. I have the day off 3. I have no money 4. I have to out 80 dollars on my credit card 5. I cant go to massachu for valentines day 6. Valentines day is cursed. 7. I have no time to do..anything 8. My move out boxes are wet 9. Natalie Portman was on my welcome screen u.u Yeah. Well I have my friends, I have my Jayness,and Wizzer is still here.... ....Rest in peace Beast....you're a good boy.

well i wrote you all an entry before but its gone now. Today sucks. Today sucks very badly.

Puits qui est bien. Je n'ai rien mieux faire que reposent et attendent
le téléphone. 2:00am et rien à mieux faire. Je semble avoir l'effet
de fatigué sur les personnes près des lesquelles j'obtiens. Je ne
suis pas fou. Son amende, naturellement.

Yeah I know im a slacker. The way it looks is that you're all going to have to get used to it. Im sorry but thats just how its looking.
Had a long and amazingly honest talk with Kristi last night, I know it wasnt the easiest thing for her to hear and it certainly wasnt the easiest thing to say... but "silence like a cancer grows" and if something happened and i DIDNT talk to her before, i'd never ever forgive myself.
It sucks though, cause Jay's phone died ;.; lol GOD i've come to need him so much. Not like... in a weird im going to suck your soul way.. just... it didnt feel right going to sleep without ... i mean we said goodbye when his phone started beeping but... i miss him. lol. All i want to do is talk to him.. thats ALL I want to do. Im going to refrain from calling him though, as I would seem like a stalker once more and...you know. o.o god.
my dog is really sick ;.; we dont know why, we know he didnt get into anything, and he was just fine last night. I'm worried just because health-wise he's a tempremental breed and we have no health history to go by for him. Its sad... he just lays there and looks at us... he keeps getting sick and whatever... and yes, we called a vet. Several vets. One cant possibly get us in until tomorrow (which, he's our regular vet and if he could get us in i KNOW he would...he's pulled all-nighters at no charge when Jakers drank antifreeze) and the other wouldnt take a "wild" breed with no medical history outside of the shelter...which is also understandable. It doesnt change the fact that my dog is sick ;.;.
I...miss Jayness >.< I'm doing the best I can to go down valentine's day... we shall see.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ this is a thingy I made out of complete lack of anything else to do. Its my eye. It says ...eye.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well I'm back. I must admit that this is just so much better than "Frikin' Canada" ... and yet... not nearly so good as Massachu. Alright, let me start a la le beginning. So the original idea was that Kristi and I were going to take a drive down to Massachu to see Jayness. Well, due to unavalibility, Kristi could not go. So I told my parents I was going alone... now this is the morning I was to leave. Dad told me that if I went alone that day, he was going to kick me out because he didnt want me to go alone. Well you can imagine how well that went over. I told him that it that was just fine by me, and if he was so scared he was welcome to go with me. Which is true. I love travelling with my dad, every vacation i've taken since I was a toddler (excluding choir) has been just father and I. So 2.5 hours later I was riding in the car with my mother and little sister.. ?.? says I. As it would turn out, as soon as I went to talk to Kristi before the trip the transmission in my NEW CAR died. What the FUCK? SO it was actually very good of my mother to take me, when she definatly didnt have to at that point. The thing about my mother is this: She didnt want to be there. She (apparently) cannot drive at all. She has no navigation skills WHATSOEVER. *stress* So she was a bitchy nervous wreak. Me: "alright, now merge onto the QEW" Mom: "I dont think we have to ..." Me: "Mom.... this lane is going to end you need to get over." Mom: "...how?" Me: "O.O! Let me drive!" mom: "Are you crazy????!" me: "O.O;;;;;;; get INTO that lane!" Mom: "Where do I go?" Me: " into that Lane!!!!" Mom: " Do I want to be there??" Me: "YOU DONT HAVE A CHOICE THE LANE WILL END >..< we nearly died. Though I must admit, it was uh... easier to bear with Jay right there. We went to a whaling museum ....no i dont know if i spelled either of those right, but that was really cool. Violent, but cool. Im not entirely sure my mind was on whales. ooooo and there was this little stuffed animal it was a leopard seal and... i resisted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was amazingly proud of myself. My sister had an awsome time there too, she wants to go back. After that, Jay took us to the Ocean, it was the first time I've ever seen it and it was absolutly amazing. ^___^ then he helped my sister find seashells... it was absolutly adorable. After the beach, we went back to the hotel room. Yes, "the" hotel room. The one hotel room, avec my mother and my sister *irritated*. but we played a couple rousing games of "go Fish" which through the cunning use of ...luck...i won. After that, we went to Ruby Tuesdays and I met his mum and dad. I believe that went well, as far as I can tell they dont hate me, which is nice because I thought they were very nice indeed. Me being the brilliance that I am, I completely forgot to print out reverse directions from Massachu and Jay was nice enough to print some out for me. Though not going back would have been just fine by me. So I got to meet his brother and sister for a short while, and see his house which was very nice. ^___^ Then we got back to the room and went for a walk, ended up...not walking. which was also nice. Then he had to leave. I promised him I wouldnt cry, and that I would just smile....well I tried anyway. I really really tried. The absolute hardest thing in the world was watching him drive away. God... just... one more day. "One more day, one more time. One more sunset baby ....i'd be satisfied... but then again... I know what it would do... leave me wishing still for one more day with you." ...that song HAD to come on just as we left the hotel the next morning. I almost cried, and mom yelled at me. >.< I just reminded her how hard it was for her to leave dad, and she was only going away for a day... lord only knows when I'll see Jay again. >.< But all and all...the 24 hours on the road, the fights with mom, the risk of getting kicked out... i'd do it all again..and again...and again. It was more then worth it. ^___^